


Those Hazy Nights We Spent Stargazing

by FightingDragons



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Conflicted Shiro, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Marijuana, Pining Shiro (Voltron), Pre-Kerberos Mission, Pre-Slash, Shiro (Voltron) is a Mess, Shotgunning, post season seven, super mild though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 06:38:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15701871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FightingDragons/pseuds/FightingDragons
Summary: Shiro takes in Keith through his periphery. He’s relaxed. He’s confident. There’s a calm to him that wasn’t there before he left to train with the Blades, before he spent two years in the quantum abyss, before he got to know his mother, before he found his consciousness in the black lion and put it into a clone that did it’s damnedest to kill him. He’s come into himself as a leader. Hell, he’sacceptedhimself as a leader. Shiro’s happy appreciate the new confidence and strength that Keith’s gained, but it’s his new height, defined muscle, and confident aura that send Shiro into acrisisOr: The two times Shiro caught Keith smoking weed on the garrison roof.





	Those Hazy Nights We Spent Stargazing

**Author's Note:**

> Un-beta'd: We die like men. 
> 
> So this was half the length when I first drafted it out and then season seven can along and gave me ideas and no beta to stop me. Please let me know if I missed any glaring errors.

Shiro climbs the stairs up to the rooftop. He knows that smell and he hopes his hunch is wrong, hopes it’s some officer needing to blow off some steam. He tries not to think about how aloof Keith has been these last few days. The door to the roof groans as he opens it and Keith doesn’t even have the nerve to jump. He’s hunched over the railing, his back the the door, face cast towards the ground, holding a blunt in his right hand. Shiro pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. 

“Keith” 

“Hey Shiro.” Keith lifts his head but he doesn't meet Shiro’s eyes as he joins him at the railing. Instead he looks out at the desert. Shiro waits for Keith to say more, but he stays quiet. Shiro gives himself a moment to take Keith in. There are no bruises on his knuckles or face. Whatever's put him in this mood, it wasn’t a fight. His face is normal, his eyes and cheeks aren’t swollen of blotchy. He hasn’t been crying.

“Nice night,” Shiro says 

“Yeah.” Keith still refuses to meet his eyes. 

“Have you been up here long?” 

“No,” Keith replies. Shiro waits for him, but he seems happy to just stand there quietly. 

Shiro should know that Keith always has some surprises hidden up his sleeve. But he isn't prepared for what Keith says next.

“Want a hit?” Keith asks. Shiro wants to groan. His head begins to ache at the smell. He thinks that he doesn't have the patience to deal with Keith’s sullen yet somehow brazen attitude right now. 

“Keith, you’re not eighteen, if an officer finds you with weed you’re gone.” 

“To bad an officer has already found me.” 

“Put it out Keith.” He does and flicks the evidence off of the roof. 

“Keith,” Shiro pulls out his stern voice this time. Keith meets his eyes. “You’re not eighteen, it’s illegal for you to smoke. You could get expelled if someone caught you.” The cadet snorts in response and turns to leave. 

“Wait,” Shiro says, softer this time. “You smell like weed. Stay here for a bit and let the wind carry it off you.” Keith turns back out to the desert. Shiro gives him time to talk but Keith keeps his mouth shut. The silence isn’t awkward, but it’s not comfortable. 

“Great place to see the stars,” Shiro tries. It’s a weak attempt to get Keith talking, but Shiro’s not sure what he’s up against right now. Keith nods in response.  
“I used to do this too.” 

Keith lifts his eyes to Shiro. “The weed thing?” 

“No, the sneaking up to the roof thing. I would do it when I was stressed. Like if I had a big test coming up, if I had a bad flare up, or if I had a fight with Adam; I would come up here on those days when I really needed to see the stars, it helped remind me why I was here.” Keith looks up to the sky and hums. 

“I don’t do this often.” Keith says.

Shiro’s eyebrows raise. “The sneaking away thing?” 

“No, the weed thing.” There’s a furrow on Keith’s brow. “Just when things at the home became to much. I only did it on the really bad days.” 

“Today was a bad day?” 

“Yeah.”

Shiro waits but Keith doesn’t continue. “Sorry to hear that buddy.” 

Keith looks up to the stars. He looks more relaxed now then he did when Shiro first caught him. He suspects that it’s the blunts work. Shiro turns his face back towards the desert. He wasn’t lying when he said he enjoyed the view. From here you could see well past the garrison and into the desert. There were no big cities to block the light from the stars and the wind at night chases away the dry heat from the desert. Shiro fills his time by finding and naming the constellations in his head when Keith shifts beside him and his attention back to earth. 

“It was different once.” Keith mumbles. 

“What was different?” 

Keith clears his voice, “the sneaking off thing to get high thing. It was after I learned that I would be going to the garrison. I went off into the desert that afternoon. The sunset was really nice that day, and I stayed out to look at the stars. It was quiet. I liked it.” Keith looks up towards the sky. “I used to go hiking with my dad. We’d go into the desert, bring food and watch the sun set. Afterwards he would show me all of the constellations.” 

Shiro hums. “Let’s make deal then. When I get back from Kerberos we’ll go out for a picnic We’ll look up at the starts and the person who can name to consultations the quickest gets to watch as the other person cleans up.” Shiro pauses “No weed though.” 

Keith rolls his eyes. “But Shiro.”

“Nope, no buts. I’ve had stoner friends. I knows what happens. Keep smoking and you’ll keep getting the munchies. Soon you’ll be too fat to go into space.” To prove his point he gives Keith a few good pokes to the stomach. Keith giggles and tries to push back, his protests go ignored. “Keep it up and you’ll get really paranoid. You’ll become obsessed with finding aliens.” He ruffles the hair on Keith’s head. Keith’s efforts to fight back are hampered by his size. “Soon your room will be covered with with news from possible alien sightings and you’ll get sent to the loony bin.” 

The smile on Keith’s face doesn't fade. “Shiro stop.”

He grabs Keith in a loose headlock. “Promise me you’ll stop smoking and then I’ll stop.”

“Okay, okay, I promise.” 

He decides to show Keith some mercy and moves out of Keith’s space while he catches his breath. Keith rights himself. His body relaxes and his eyes spark. They’ve had their fun but the world won’t wait for them forever. Shiro regrets having to burst this little bubble they’ve made for themselves but it’s getting close to curfew and they both need to sleep. 

Shiro claps his hand over Keith’s shoulder. “Okay buddy, it’s getting late. You need to head back to your room.” 

The spark in Keith’s eyes dims but doesn't go out completely. He doesn't fight the order. Instead he puts his hands in his pockets and turns towards the door. Before he leaves he gives Shiro a small smile over his shoulder. 

“Thanks Shiro.”  
“Anytime squirt.”

Keith leaves with the musty smell of weed still clinging to his uniform. Shiro goes over the officer’s on duty tonight and calculates who Keith might run into on his way back. A few of them may come down hard on Keith if he gets caught. Shiro starts thinking of an alibi. He’s biased, but Shiro’s lost blood, sweat, and tears working his way up the chain of command. He’s earned his place here and he’s not above using his status to protect his own interests. He stays of the roof and thinks about what kind of person Keith will be after he returns for Kerberos.  
Keith keeps his promise

 

For the most part. 

 

Shiro can’t bring himself to care about the noise he makes as he thuds up the stairs. It’s a surprise to everyone that a few of the garrison buildings are still standing and Shiro just needs some time to get away from it all. He hasn’t had time to himself since Sendak and the mysterious ship were defeated. That was two months ago. The road to rebuilding earth and working out the finer kinks in the Atlas has left him with precious little free time. He needs a night to himself. The smell doesn't hit him until he opens the door to the roof. He looks up and sees the one person who he doesn’t mind giving up his solitary night for. 

Keith’s body is facing the door. His arms are spread out across the railing he’s leaning on. His head's pointed up towards the sky. He looks good. Really good considering it took him the longest to recover after their last flight. Shiro watches as he takes a hit from the blunt in his hand and watches as the smoke get caught in the wind. 

Shiro’s fucked. 

He takes a deep breath and goes to join Keith. “Did anyone ever tell you that smoking is bad for you?” Shiro knows that he doesn’t have the suave look he wishes he has, but it must be worse than he thinks because Keith _giggles_. 

“Hey captain.” Keith responds. He straightens up and moves to turn towards the desert, or what’s left of it after the battle. Shiro joins him. 

“Bad day?” Shiro asks. 

“Nope. Celebrating. Earth is safe, everyone is back with their family, and I can train without needing a break every five minutes. And no one’s called on me tonight. It’s the first time that’s happened in two weeks.” 

They stand in companionable silence. Shiro takes in Keith through his periphery. He’s relaxed. He’s confident. There’s a calm to him that wasn’t there before he left to train with the Blades, before he spent two years in the quantum abyss, before he got to know his mother, before he found his consciousness in the black lion and put it into a clone that did it’s damnedest to kill him. He’s come into himself as a leader. Hell, he’s _accepted_ himself as a leader. Shiro’s happy appreciate the new confidence and strength that Keith’s gained, but it’s his new height, defined muscle, and confident aura that send Shiro into a _crisis_. His subtle staring is interrupted when Keith clears his throat. 

“Have you been up here long?” Shiro asks. 

“Nope,” Keith pops his lips at the end. 

“Mind of I join you?”

“Of course not” Shiro fits himself next to Keith. He’s happy here. 

“Want a hit?” Keith asks. 

Shiro sees Keith’s smile and thinks that he’s earned this bit of weakness. 

“Yeah, okay.” 

Keith passes him the blunt and Shiro brings it to his lips and inhales. He can’t even try to hid the coughing fit it sends him into. Keith is polite and tries to hid his laughter. Still, Shiro feels that the punch to arm he gives Keith is justified. 

“Don’t laugh at me. I’m being adventurous. I’m trying new things.” 

“Sorry old man. I should have warned you.” 

“Where did you even get this?” Shiro asks. 

“They gave me this when I was in the hospital. To help with the pain.” Shiro knows that’s a lie but doesn't call him out on it. For all he knows he got in from Lance. 

He sees Keith’s smile and can’t help but match it. Shiro think’s it’s the first time he’s really smiled in a long time. He enjoys the moment but notices a change when Keith gets a dangerous glint in his eyes. Tonight, Shiro feels down for whatever Keith’s planning. 

“Wanna shotgun?” Keith asks. 

Shiro knows that if he refuses, Keith will make of joke of it and the easy atmosphere they had before would return as if he never asked in the first place. Their friendship is strong enough for it, but Shiro’s had enough time to think, enough time to mourn. He wants to move on. He wants to weak right now. Shiro doesn't hesitate. 

“Yeah, okay.” 

Keith smirks and the atmosphere shifts as Keith steps closer to Shiro and moves into his space. Shiro puts one hand to the railing and lets the other fall to his side. Keith lifts the blunt to his lips and breaths in. His free hand brushes up against Shiro’s face and gently guides him closer. Their lips slot together. Keith opens his mouth and breaths out, Shiro opens his and breaths in. The stay with their lips joined for a moment and Keith uses that time to run his fingers through Shiro's hair. Shiro pulls back a fraction and breaths out through his nose. The two stay like that for a moment. Shiro’s free hand twitches at his side. Shiro looks into Keith’s eyes, refusing to let them drift down to his lips. That’s a weakness he’s not ready to let himself indulge in. Keith stays for a moment longer, then pulls back slowly. Far enough that there’s a good amount of space between them. 

This, this is new for the two of them together. More intimate than anything they’ve ever done before. This matches the shift in tension that’s been lingering between them since Shiro made it back to his body. There’ve been kisses between them before, but those were always platonic, brotherly, familial. Like the time Shiro sat at Keith’s bedside when Keith was so sick with fever that he had been unable to find restful sleep for days on end. His eyes filled with frustrated tears and Shiro gave the only comfort he could think of at the time and kissed his forehead they way his mother used to do for him. Or Shiro’s first night back on earth before they left in the blue lion, when he woke up from nightmares and was only calmed when Keith held him, gently kissing the top of his head, whispering stories to him until he fell back asleep in Keith’s arms. 

This is so different. It’s romantic, intimate. Shiro wants to regret it. Keith is supposed to be his scrappy protege; the skinny kid he picked up on a recruitment trip. Shiro knew that Keith would outgrow him one day, and Shiro is happy to see the man Keith has become. But he never expected that man would have such pretty purple eyes. He never expected that man to keep on saving his life over and over again. 

Keith breaks through Shiro’s thoughts. “So what brought you up here?” 

“I needed to get away from everything for a bit. I have three different meetings tomorrow, one’s with the garrison, one with the olkari, and one with the blades.”

Keith winces in sympathy. “Ouch. If you need a wing-man during those meetings You know where I’ll be.”

Shiro hums. “I might take you up on that. What about you?” 

“I’m shadowing Kolivan tomorrow, so I’ll see you no matter what.”  
“Just a shadow then?” 

“Yep.” Keith blows his hair out of his eyes. “Just a shadow."

Shiro can’t comprehend what returning to earth must been like for the paladins. In a way, Hunk, Lance, and Katie all got some time to reclaim the childhood they lost while they were in space. They are no longer the ones in charge and they have a team of military professionals to support them when things go wrong, and to make the hard decisions for them. Keith’s already had that time though. And now he’s back on earth not only as as the head of voltron, but also a cadet. Now he’s now forced to wait for someone else's orders again and to step in line when asked. So far Keith has taken it all with grace, so much so that it impresses Shiro. He wants to be there to see Keith climb up the ranks. Keith has it in him to run this whole machine one day. Maybe one day he’ll run the blades, or earth’s galactic defense force, or maybe the whole galra empire. The last one is a stretch, but Keith could do it. Shiro would be there to support him. For now though, Keith’s learning to follow orders again, and everyone else is learning to trust Keith’s judgment.

“So,” Shiro starts, “did you introduce Iverson to your mom yet.” 

Keith gives out an exaggerated groan. “I didn’t get to. He stopped by when I was passed out and mom introduced himself. I’m pissed that I didn’t get to see his reaction.” 

“The world should have recorded that historic moment. Imagine the headlines. _Space Officer set on Finding Alien Life Learns that Student was Alien all Along_.” 

“God, that sounds like plot of a really bad drama, and I don’t think Iverson’s main goal was ever finding alien life.” 

“The tabloids don’t care. God, I bet there are so many rumors floating around about us. I don’t even want to know what they’ve said about me.”

Keith laughs “I bet most are about you. _Discover Shirogane’s Hidden Romance with the Alien Princess_.” 

“Man they couldn’t even get my sexuality right. I’m so misrepresented.” 

Keith grins, “I’m the one who had my weird alien childhood brought up. I can never touch a newspaper again can I.” 

“Everyone loves the head of Voltron. I think you’re in the clear.” 

“Yea but everyone goes wild for the captain of the Atlas.” 

The two laugh and silence falls upon them once again. Shiro notices the blunt that was in Keith’s hand has gone missing. He must have put it out when Shiro’s attention was elsewhere. He sees that Keith’s eyes are clear and wonders if Keith has ever smoked a whole joint in his life. Keith’s hair is windswept. Shiro thinks that the sloppy look suits him. It’s not fair. _He wants_. Things have shifted between them. It’s not fair that in the span of a few days that Keith went from a boy to a man. Shiro needs more time to processes that kind of thing. He knows that it was more than two years for Keith, and he’s given Shiro a few bits and pieces of his time in the abyss. Shiro’s happy that Keith got to have time away from the war to get to know his mother, to raise a dog, and know what it’s like to have a family after having gone without one for so long. But just a few months ago Shiro would have never felt this way about Keith. But the fall from the cloning facility sent Shiro crashing back to reality in ways he never expected. 

They’ve had a few moments like this on their way back to earth, but Shiro put things on the back burner while on their journey back to earth because a part of him needed to find closure with Adam. He needed that before he could even think of starting anything with Keith. Or that’s what Shiro likes to tell himself. He spent a lot of time on their journey back thinking about Keith; about how good Keith would look with kiss bruised lips, about how Keith would look in his arms, what kind of sounds he would make. But that’s a secret he’ll take to the grave. 

Now the the earth is safe Shiro’s had time to mourn, grieve, and move on. He and Adam’s relationship meant the world to him at the time, but he left Earth knowing that he wouldn’t have Adam when he came back, and he knew not to keep his hopes up when he returned. Shiro will always regret not being there for him in Adam’s final moments, but Shiro knows that he could kill himself with grief if he wanted to. Adam was his own man, he chose to defend earth. Shiro doesn’t want his grief to take away Adam’s agency. He wonders if it’s fair to move on without having mourned longer. He supposes he’ll just have to take things as the come. He sighs. 

“Do you remember that last time we came up here?’ Shiro asks. “The view was better then.” 

“Earth has been through alot.” Keith must feel the shift in the mood because a small frown appears on his face. “I mean, it hurts to see the desert destroyed like this, but I don’t know. I kind of see it as a sign that I’m still alive. That I’ve made it.” 

Shiro hums “You remember the promise I made you, that I’d take you out into the desert? I’m sorry I couldn’t keep it, you deserve better.” 

Keith turns to Shiro, his face in soft. “Honesty Shiro, don’t beat yourself up about it. There’s no way you or I could have ever known how things would turn out. We’ve been busy. There hasn’t been a lot of down time for anyone lately. I actually forgot about it until you brought it up just now.” 

Shiro doesn’t know what to say to say to that. He can’t bring himself to look at Keith. He deserves so much. Keith doesn't need any more empty promises in his life. He’s had to many in his life already. Keith shifts next to him.

“Shiro look at me.” He meets Keith’s eyes. “This, going into space, fighting the galra, voltron. It’s the best thing that ever happened to me. Yeah, some parts have been a literal hell, but Shiro; I have friends. I have a family. Mom and I went together to visit dad last week. Yeah, wasn’t exactly the family reunion I dreamed of when I was a kid, but, it was nice. We left him flowers, and I was able to catch him up on what I've been doing while I was away."

Shiro see's Keith's eyes go misty and he looks towards the ground. “Keith you're so smart and strong. You dad would be so proud of everything you've done. I jut wish that you could have done all of those things without me bringing you into space. Without bringing you into a war.” He eyes raise to the scar on Keith’s face. “Without me hurting you. You didn't need voltron to become the person who you are today Keith I'm so sorry that you've been dragged into all of this.” Shiro raises his eyes to Keith’s and he’s frowning. His eyes are sharp with anger. Wrong move.

“Oh my god Shirogane.” Keith groans. “Just let me be happy with this reality. Let me be relaxed with the fact that I wouldn’t have wanted things to happen any other way. I'm happy right now Shiro. Please, Let yourself be happy. _For once_. Shiro, please.” 

Shiro is rewarded with stony silence and Keith takes a step away from him when it becomes clear that Shiro's not going to explain himself right away. Keith’s arms are crossed and his eyes refuse to move from the destroyed desert in front of them. The rooftop is cold from the wind. Shiro sighs. 

“Now this is why I get invited to all the parties. No one knows how to kill a mood like I do.” 

Keith fights for a moment to keep his frown, but gives up easily and huffs out a tiny little sigh. Shiro wishes he could make Keith smile. He wants to hear Keith laugh. The tension in Keith’s shoulders slowly relaxes. Shiro thinks that the fight has left him. He wonders how long Keith will have to keep fighting. Shiro doesn't want to be something that Keith has to fight against. With the next gust of wind Keith angles his body towards Shiro.

“You want to know how you can make it up to me?” 

“Make up what? The pincic, leaving earth to fight in a intergalactic war, or the terrible pep talk?” 

Keith laughs. “Well, I can excuse the pep talk because your exhausted. We’ve already established that leaving earth was the best thing to ever happen to me. So I’m going to go with the pincic.” 

“I’m listening.” 

Keith shifts. He gets tense for a moment. “You feel it too right? This war is going to end sooner rather than later. Once we find Haggar, that’s it.” Shiro nods. He’s not sure where this is going. “So after we find and defeat her; you, Takashi Shirogane, are going to find the planet with the best goddamn sunset in the universe. We’re going to have a picnic and watch the sun set. At night we’re going to make our own constellations. The person who thinks up the coolest backstory gets to watch the other person clean everything up.”

Shiro smiles, he's amazed at how quickly Keith can brighten his mood. “That sounds nice Keith.” 

Keith pauses. He casts his eyes down. “We could bring everyone. Have a little voltron family celebration together.” 

Shiro sees the out, but he’s to weak for Keith to take it. 

“We’ll do something together with everyone once the war is over, but I made that promise between the two of us. Just you and I.” 

Keith smiles. “I’ll hold you to that old man.” 

It’s a promise. They’re both going to come out of this alive. Their both fighters down to their core. 

It’s quiet between the two of them now. Shiro looks at the desert. The war with the galra was not kind to it, and it will be a long time before it recovers, if it ever does. But the stars are the same as the last time he was up here. Just as bright. At least some things stay the same, Shiro thinks. It will be awhile before he knows peace. They have a war to finish, and afterwards they have a universe to rebuild. But even though they still have a long fight ahead of them, Shiro can't take his mind of the man beside him. Shiro’s not sure if it’s okay to want Keith. He thinks that Keith could be better than him, he thinks that Keith deserves to be more than a rebound relationship. But when Shiro closes his eyes, he can’t see Keith with anyone else. He doesn't want to see Keith with anyone else. Shiro doesn’t mean to be selfish. The wind picks up and Keith starts to shiver. 

“Fuck it’s gotten cold. I think I’m going to head back down now. God, tomorrow’s going to be busy.” 

Shiro moves his hand to Keith’s waist. He holds it loosely. “Stay? For just five more minutes?” 

Keith relaxes into the hold and steps closer. Shiro brings him in to rest against his side and Keith rests his head on Shiro’s shoulder. Shiro’s grip gets a little tighter.  
“Okay,” Keith says. “Just five more minutes.”

The universe has fucked Shiro over so many times that he thinks he’s earned this selfishness. He still doesn't trust himself with this, with Keith. But he trusts Keith. Things have changed between them. Keith has changed. This Keith is confident enough to initiate a shotgun kiss and intuitive enough to back away at Shiro’s hesitance. This newer, older Keith knows what he wants. Shiro has trusted Keith to come back from suicide missions, to lead voltron, to keep the other paladins safe. Shiro trusts that Keith knows what he wants, he trusts Keith to know what’s good for him. And if Keith wants Shiro? If he thinks that the two of them could work together; well, who is he to deny him.

**Author's Note:**

> So wow, this is my first time writing fic, and my first time writing anything this long or complete in years. Feedback is greatly appreciated. Season six left me hungry for some pinning Shiro. Hope you all enjoyed season seven as much as I did.


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